November 13, 2013 — Leah Hager Cohen
with Louise Kuo Habakus and Alison MacNeil
From Louise and Alison:
Why does it feel unsafe to admit ignorance?
Why don’t we trust our instincts?
Why do we give away our power so easily?
Why not examine the beauty of “I don’t know”?
We interviewed Leah Hager Cohen about her most recent book, I Don’t Know: In Praise of Admitting Ignorance.
Be prepared to hear a surprising and empowering conversation about the many reasons we should honor doubt. The essence of her book – “We are strongest when we listen to our instincts” – is a manifesto for parenthood!
Many of us grew up with parents who told us “there are no stupid questions” and we may even say that a lot to our own kids. But do we really believe it? There’s a lot of knowledge bluffing going on.
Have you ever pretended to know more about something than you do?
Have you ever gone against your better instincts, trusted someone assuming he knew more than you, only to later find–after being frustrated with a poor outcome–that your expert didn’t really know more after all?
Can you remember a time when you surrendered to the terror of the unknown and, to your surprise, you instead felt calm and composed?
During last week’s pre-chat and today’s show, we were drawn in by Leah’s warm, down-to-earth nature. This book is a balm for the harried, doubt-filled soul of a parent.
Listen in!
From Leah:
Hello Fearless Parent!
I like how the title of this program cleverly tips its hat to the idea that fear too often permeates our thoughts and feelings about parenting.
It’s a kind of paradox that all the expert advice and scientific studies meant to help us be good parents can actually stoke our fear of messing up this most important role in life.
For me, becoming more comfortable with what I don’t know – and with the fact that I’ll never have all the answers – is one of the most important things I can do for my children.
Leah
Leah Hager Cohen is an author who writes both fiction and nonfiction. She is Distinguished Writer in Residence at the College of the Holy Cross and on the faculty of Lesley University’s MFA in Creative Writing. She was raised at the Lexington School for the Deaf, and attended Hampshire College and Columbia University graduate school of journalism. Read more about Leah and her work at leahhagercohen.com.
Louise Kuo Habakus is Executive Director of Fearless Parent, lead host and producer of Fearless Parent Radio, and mom of two. She is a published author, runs the non-profit Center for Personal Rights, lectures widely, and has appeared in numerous media outlets, including ABC World News Tonight, Fox & Friends, and The New York Times. Louise was a Bain consultant and a C-level executive in the financial services industry. She holds two degrees from Stanford University. She is an advisory board member of GreenMedInfo.
Alison MacNeil, MSW, LICSW is a social worker and psychotherapist with more than 15 years of clinical experience. She holds degrees from Trinity College and the Smith College School for Social Work. Her professional background includes positions with a community mental health center in southeastern Massachusetts, Family Services of Greater Boston, and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center’s Healthcare Associates. Alison is a published author and a co-founder of the Thinking Moms’ Revolution.
Great conversation – I love the exposure of the concept of feeling good about saying “I don’t know”. Before I became a parent, I worked as a professional development trainer. I learned very quickly that there was no way for me to be the ‘expert’ in a room full of professionals with decades of experience. So rather than set myself up as being the one with all of the answers, I approached it as being a facilitator of learning. It was such a revelation to be OK with saying “I don’t know” but that needs to be followed up with searching for answers together and learning together. It was a great lesson to have already learned by the time I became a parent!
Excellent show ladies. I particularly enjoyed the discussion about the advertisement that implied that some mothers are trying to out-do one another. I know that this hits home for a lot of Moms…Hello Pinterest.I find it very sad that so many parents feel like they need to prove themselves to other parents. We are all doing our best and should be supporting each other instead of judging.I wish more people would say, “I Don’t Know.” When my children ask a question that I can’t answer, I welcome those moments. It makes them realize that I am just a person, just like them. Then we have an opportunity to explore and find an answer together. I feel like this is a very important way that adults can establish trust with children. If you are faking it…they KNOW.
Hey Ladies, I am glad to hear you. I was running back and forth between teaching my ASD son and your show. I have to listen to the full show later. We definitely need to doubt and question everything because we don’t know.
Great show – looking forward to the next one!
Love the music in the back ground of the promo! Perfect! Love Flo! I’m so proud of my dear friends Alison Macneil and Louise Kuo Habakus. Completely awesome, HONEST, ball busting TRUTH! Love you ladies so very much!
You were great! Love the “I don’t know” law! Honesty is do much better than baloney!
Alison & Louise:
What a fabulous launch! Congratulations, once again, to you both on the show and for lending an ear.
Well done! Waaay overdue. I am very much looking forward to future shows and sharing this show with many others. Thanks for stepping up again! <3
Really Enjoyed the first show! Cant wait to tell my “Mommy” friends. What a great idea, using our instincts as mothers. Cant wait for next week!
Excellent show. Look forward to sharing it with my parenting group friends. Well done!