What Are the Kids Doing This Summer?

It’s the beginning of spring, and you know what’s on your mind. What are the kids going to do this summer?

It’s time to start planning. And hurry, because camps are filling up!

Yes, after complaining all year about the kids’ non-stop, crazy school and activity schedule, we contemplate a glorious summer full of possibilities and we… panic.

Myth of the effortless summer

I remember the summer we decided not to do very much at all. We thought we’d spend long lazy days relaxing. It’s true that there were sun-kissed days spent berry picking, hiking, biking, fishing, and grilling steaks.

But honestly? It was also sort of a disaster. The kids woke up too late and expected to be entertained. It was muggy and buggy outside, and sometimes it rained. Everyone else seemed to be doing really fun stuff. And forget about all those work and home projects we thought we’d tackle. Nothing got done. I found myself spending waaay too much time at Chuck E. Cheese or the library, swearing that we’d plan better next summer.

So the following summer, we swung the other way. I manically signed up for weekly camps (only three spots left!!). I failed to fully grasp that that someone would be driving around picking up and dropping off children all day long.

Is it about fear?

And then I realized something. I was spending huge amounts of time, energy, and money trying to keep my kids structured and occupied because of fear.

- Fear of missing out.
- Fear of falling behind.
- Fear of wasting time.
- Fear of being bored.
- Fear of being abducted.

Enough! Fear often causes us to make bad decisions.

Managing the kids this summer

Here’s how I’m trying to think about summer this year:

1. No one wants my kids. They’re not going to be abducted. In my heart of hearts, I’m not sure I entirely believe this, but I do know that keeping them indoors doesn’t teach them how to make smart choices. When do they learn to bike to a store, go to the park, and otherwise play outdoors unsupervised? Children are supposed to watch other kids, try to keep up, negotiate, fall down and get up, and take risks. Sometimes they get bug bites, poison ivy, and sunburn. It’s their right. Barring special situations, children need to figure this out.

2. So kick them out. Remember being shooed out of the house so mom could get some peace and quiet? One good turn deserves another. Let’s push our kids outdoors and set a timer, if we must, so we don’t cave. Once they realize we’re serious, they solve their boredom problem. They build a restaurant with twigs and leaves. They find preying mantis nests, stalk squirrels, and catch frogs. They attract ants with old Halloween candy. They construct ramps and experiment with skateboards. They set dryer lint on fire with flint and a magnifying glass.

3. And mean it. They won’t stay outside unless there’s nothing better inside. Change the WiFi password. Disconnect the router. Pull out the batteries. Grab the chance to change a habit. One summer, we turned off the TV, and we never turned it back on again. OK, I’m exaggerating. It’s March Madness, after all. And we watch Nat Geo Wild on Sunday mornings while making breakfast. But TV is no longer something we watch on a daily basis. Without technological autopilot, kids become more creative.

When they finally come inside, here are some other things I’m keeping in mind:

1. Send them to bed. OK, I’ll feed them first. But seriously, kids need more sleep than they’re getting, even during the summer. And waking up at noon doesn’t compensate for going to bed late. That intolerable whining I’m hearing probably means they’re tired. If 15 minutes of sleep is the difference between B and A students, imagine what an extra hour of sleep can do.

2. Be a cheapskate. I’m going to try really hard not to reflexively throw money at boredom. If you haven’t spent ridiculous sums on Club Penguin, Big Win, or Minecraft, you can skip this one.

3. Do something unexpected. If the brain turns off in June, it’s awfully hard to turn it back on again come September. Ten weeks is a precious expanse of time to learn for the fun of it. Kids can acquire a new skill or deepen a nascent one. Read cool stuff. Do experiments. Make something. Program a robot. Enter a contest. Attack a troublesome subject in a different way. And they don’t need to do it alone. Grab a friend or two. Children can learn how to turn their own brains on.

I have one more suggestion for a really great summer experience. But that’s for tomorrow’s post. In the meantime, tell us… how do you manage summer with your children?

Louise talks a good game but admits she still feels pressure about planning for summer. She wants the kids to have new experiences, use the time productively, and have a great time.